SAIPAN HOMES Blog: Breaking News AP - Global warming effecting Saipan and CNMI

Global warming is increasing at an alarming and consistent rate on the capital island of the unknown US Commonwealth in the SW Pacific. A privately funded economic impact of globalization has identified global warming as an overlooked factor in the SW Pacific.

A study has made some surprising scientific findings in the SW Pacific. The CNMI enjoyed an overnight low of 70 degrees Fahrenheit and an afternoon high of 80 on December 15, 2000. The 2005 mercury read 71 degrees on the overnight low and the temperature topped out at 81 degrees. Yesterday on the Island of Saipan, the high and low hit sweltering records of 72 and 82 respectively and this trend is expected to extend through the holidays. Local residents fear that if global warming continues at this pace, their gorgeous island could be a sauna by the end of the century.

The CNMI legislature met for an emergency free lunch session this week to discuss the situation. One anonymous Congressman was quoted "these things they say we will have we have already" another quipped "these things warant mor phundings from the giverment" and the offical statement from the CNMI Senate elaborated "we beeleeve these federalizations has also dreamatically impasted the environment, and we sispected hiher temperchores wil nissassitate more fule for aicons and will have bad ecinimic effects without mor phundings to studie thes tissues". To combat the economic effects of globalization and the demise of the textile industry, the CNMI legislature has enacted an economic stimulus program to increase their already top heavy discretionary spending accounts, already the second highest on earth behind Kuwaiti princes. CNMI Senators receive 500k per year in unaccountable discretionary spending funds or 2.5 million over a 5 year term. CNMI House members receive only 100k to 400k apiece.

Hafadai from the far islands and don't worry about our heat wave just yet, as a 15 mile per hour tropical trade winds blows constantly across paradise, so perfect in fact, that we haven't turned on our air-con since the all day rain ruined golf one day in early August.

So for now, we will spend this holiday on the beach barBQing island style...